Prefer to listen? Press play below — then scroll for the key takeaways + the exact framework I use with money coaching clients to stop overspending without going “zero to 100.”
If you’ve ever said, “I’m just a spender,” and then immediately felt guilty about it… hi. You’re in the right place.
Because I used to be that person — the kid who got a $10 allowance and spent it immediately on candy, gum, toys, whatever I wanted without hesitation. And that pattern followed me into adulthood.
I was the adult who got paid on Friday… and by Monday or Tuesday? I was basically broke. Bills paid, sure. Dinner with friends, yes. A few fun little treats, absolutely. And then for the rest of the pay period, I was kind of like… welp.
So if you’re reading this as a creative entrepreneur thinking:
- “I don’t know why I can’t stop spending.”
- “I try to budget and then I blow it.”
- “I’m doomed to be financially chaotic forever.”
- “But also… I love sushi and shopping and little treats, so ???”
I want you to hear me clearly: you’re not broken.
And you don’t need shame to change your habits.
You need a better plan — one that works with your human brain, your emotional triggers, and your real life.
First: Don’t go from “spender” to “financial robot”
One of the biggest mistakes I see (and one I made constantly) is going from one extreme to the other.
You go from not looking at your numbers at all… to obsessing over every single penny. You make a super strict budget, decide you’re never eating out again, swear off shopping forever, and basically try to become a different person overnight.
And then — shocker — it doesn’t work.
Because going from zero to 100 is just the other side of the same problem.
A healthy money plan lives in the middle:
- You get to meet your needs right now (connection, fun, rest, joy, treats)
- While still making progress on the goals that matter long-term (paying off debt, building savings, investing, paying yourself consistently)
Personal finance is a marathon. Not a sprint.
So the goal isn’t “never spend money again.” The goal is: spend with intention — in a way that supports your life and your future.
The real issue: the disconnect between logic and emotion
Here’s what messed with me the most when I tried to stop overspending:
Logically? It’s simple.
- Want to save money? Spend less than you earn.
- Want to pay off debt? Make bigger payments.
Math-wise, it’s not complicated.
But emotionally? That’s where it gets sticky.
Because overspending usually isn’t about math. It’s about what spending is doing for you in the moment — comfort, relief, celebration, control, connection, distraction, dopamine.
So if you want to stop overspending, we have to work with the emotional side too.
That’s why I use this framework with my money coaching clients:
The Future → Present → Past Framework
It might sound backwards, but it works. You start with your future, then look at your present, then dig into your past.
Step 1: FUTURE — Get clear on what you actually want (and make it personal)
Most people say things like:
- “I want to get out of debt.”
- “I want to save more.”
- “I want to stop overspending.”
Okay, but… why?
If you’re going to change your habits — especially as a creative entrepreneur with seasonal income and a busy brain — you need a goal that actually means something to you.
Not a goal you “should” want.
Not a goal that sounds impressive.
Not a goal you’re doing for your partner or your parents or the internet.
A goal you care about enough to stick with when it’s month three and you’re tired.
Maybe it’s:
- paying off debt so you can take your family on incredible vacations
- building savings so you can take a real off-season without panic
- having control so you don’t feel embarrassed or stressed every month
- retiring early and living your beach life (respect)
- investing so your money can grow instead of just sitting there
For me, the shift happened when the motivation became internal.
It wasn’t about other people judging me. It was about how I wanted to feel — capable, in control, steady, and proud of how I handled money.
That’s the future piece: a vision that pulls you forward.
Step 2: PRESENT — Build a budget you can actually live with
Now we look at what’s happening in real life.
This is where most budgets fail: they’re built for a fantasy version of you.
The version who never has a hard day.
The version who doesn’t love community.
The version who doesn’t want the sushi.
The version who will never step foot in Target again.
But your budget has to work for you.
For me, one huge breakthrough was realizing: it wasn’t the spending itself — it was what the spending represented.
Connection matters to me. Community matters to me. Treating myself matters to me. Going to dinner with friends matters to me.
So instead of creating a budget with zero fun, I started allocating money on purpose.
Not “I’m never spending on fun again.”
But:
- “I’m going to set aside a percentage every month for dinners, treats, and little joys… and then spend it guilt-free.”
- “And I’m going to build the rest of my plan around still making progress toward my goals.”
That’s the “both/and” approach:
- live today and
- plan for tomorrow
Also: part of money coaching for creative entrepreneurs is learning how to meet needs without always spending to meet them.
If connection is what you crave, could you:
- invite a friend over and cook together?
- do patio drinks at home?
- plan a low-cost hang that still feels rich?
The point isn’t deprivation. The point is options.
When you know what need you’re trying to meet, you can meet it in more than one way — which makes overspending lose its grip.
Step 3: PAST — Identify the money story that’s running the show
This is the part people skip — and it’s why they keep repeating the cycle.
Because you can set up the perfect budget… and still sabotage it if your deeper money beliefs are pulling you in the opposite direction.
Here’s one of mine:
I grew up in a comfortable suburban life. Then my parents divorced when I was around 11, and everything changed. Financial struggle showed up quickly and loudly. We lost the house. We downsized. There was sacrifice. It was a huge shift.
And the belief that formed in my brain was:
“Enjoy it now. The other shoe will drop.”
So when things were going well, there was a voice saying:
- “Better spend it now on something fun…”
- “…because you might lose it to something awful later.”
Wild, right?
But that’s what money stories do. They influence decisions quietly — until you name them.
Here’s an exercise I give clients:
Think of 1–2 money memories from childhood or adolescence.
If you remember it, it mattered.
Then ask:
- What did I learn from that moment?
- What did younger-me decide was “true” about money?
- How is that belief showing up in my spending today?
Because once you see the story, you can rewrite it.
Putting it all together: the shame-free way to stop overspending
If you want the quick version:
- Have empathy for yourself. Shame won’t change you.
- Don’t go from zero to 100. Extreme budgets backfire.
- Start with the future. Pick a goal you actually care about.
- Get practical in the present. Build a budget you can live with — include joy on purpose.
- Heal the past. Identify the money story and the trigger so you stop self-sabotaging.
You don’t need to become a different person to become money confident.
You just need a system that supports the person you already are.
And if you’re a spender like me: if I can change this pattern, you can too.
If you want support applying this framework to your business and personal finances — especially if your income is seasonal, your spending is emotional, and you’re tired of “trying harder” — this is exactly the work we do through my group coaching program: Breadwinner.
And if you loved this episode, come say hi on Instagram and tell me what your “spender trigger” is — I’m always down to help you troubleshoot it.
